Pope in Dead Badger Queen insult

The Pope’s visit to the UK has been marred by what has been described by some witnesses as a “gruesome gift” to the Queen.

The Germanian Papal caused scenes of repulsion amongst guests when he presented the Queen with a heavily mutilated badger. The Badger, which was dead and partially decomposed, was apparently thrust into the hands of the a startled Monarch without indication.

“He just whipped it out from under his cape and shoved in the Queens face” explained one witness.

Other Onlookers say that Pope Herr Benedict IIIII seemed visibly shocked and upset by the Queens obvious disgust at the rotting road-kill souvenir.

A spokesman for the Vatican has made this statement “This is all we need. First it was all that sex with kids rubbish, then the Africans with AIDS nonsense, and now this bloody badger fiasco! When will people just leave us alone to get on with our jobs?”

Gordon's Only Friend

Concerns are growing over the mental health of Gordon Brown after reports that he has developed an “imaginary friend” continue to surface.

Party insiders are said to be “in a panic” and “close to complete meltdown” as rumours that the Prime Minister is consulting “Mr Ploppy Pants” on important issues such as Education, the economy, the War on Terror, and the banning of women.

One source close to the P.M. has told us how “At any cabinet meeting, an extra seat would be placed next to Gordon at the table. This seat is reserved for Mr Ploppy Pants, and no one else is to sit there. Of course, anyone who challenged the veracity of Mr Ploppy Pants’ existence would receive the full force of Gordon’s temper, which often involved physical violence and sexual humiliation.”

Some reports claim Gordon Brown made 40 cabinet ministers sit in silence for two hours as Mr Ploppy Pants supposedly delivered them a speech on a possible cure for constipation.

Problems are said to have escalated the day Tony Blair left cabinet to pursue his career in the middle East as a sexy poll dancer, and to gloat over the dead babies he’d bombed, whilst leaving Brown to manage the party on his own.

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