Top Eggs, we find the news nobody else wanted to use. So ram your eyes with enough news to make your testes ache, pack your brain with so much information your 'fact gland' will turn malignant, and indulge in enough malicious, unfounded celebrity gossip you will be rendered permanently infertile. None of the information contained here on this site can be confirmed as true or factual, nor has it been proven to be false or fictional. |
Crime
Bin Laden's War Crime Sandwich A half eaten cheese and pickle sandwich thought to be part of Osama Bin Laden's lunch prior to the September 11 attacks, is to go on trial in Guantanamo Bay, charged by the U.S. Government with war crimes.The sandwich stands accused of supporting terrorism by way of nourishment, and, if found guilty, faces the rest of its shelf-life in prison. |
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Police officers have cordoned off a three mile radius around Chester Zoo this morning after a 200lb zoo-keeper escaped from the staff canteen.
The body of a elderly ant has been found dead in a quiet suburb of Manchester, police confirmed today. The body was discovered by a man out walking his dog in the early hours of the morning. This brings the death toll up to nine in the last two weeks. Police are now connecting all deaths and admit they may well be dealing with a serial killer.
Primary school children across Briton are to be issued with knives as part of a new government initiative to help combat playground bullying.
World renowned turkey rapist Barnard Mathews is to be culled along with 50,000 other prize turkeys at his factory in Sulfolk tonight.