Pol Pot's and Bus Stops

A West Midlands bus company has been forced to suspend all services to and from Dunstable, after an unprecedented amount of complaints from the public over it's controversial policy of employing deposed, and in some cases deceased, dictators.

Earlier in the week passengers on the number 72 were said to be "shocked" and "Sickened" when they found Ugandan Butcher, Idi Amin, inspecting tickets. Matters were made worse by the driver, believed to be Pol Pot, who continuously used foul and abusive language towards some of the elderly travelers.

Things finally came to a head on Thursday evening when Pope John Paul II was discovered, on the top deck, weeping uncontrollably onto the shoulder of Adolf Hilter. Some unconfirmed reports claim Hilter was without his trousers.

Ant Safari Disappointment

So, I paid a visit to my local Safari Park last weekend, a place I visited often as a child and have very fond memories of.

On arriving, you can imagine my disapointment to discover that due to "financial difficulties" the park had sold every single one of the 236 exotic animals contained in the zoo to a 40 year old gay bin man called Jesseppi (Italian Descent), and replaced them with no more than a solitary ant.

This ant is left to roam the 300 acres of land in search of prey, whilst visitors from around the country come in hope of seeing the ant in his natural habitat. All from the safety of their car.

After overcomming my inital shock, I decided I would continue with my tour of the Safari Park, dispite the fact that this allussive ant had only ever been seen once since it's arrival 4 years ago, and that was by the zoo keepers on the day they released him into the park.

I spent the next 7 hours driving around, looking for the tiny insect. I had almost given up all hope of ever seeing him, when I spotted it! He was about 830 centimetres away from my car, feeding on the carcass of a dead gazelle that the keepers had left out for him the night before. I can honestly say that it was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. His shiney little body glimmered in the sun, and I could swear, at one point we seemed to make direct eye contact, and, for a moment, I felt I was in the presence of God.